Category: Contemplations

Anxiety Is Feeling Your Future Self

Emotions dictate everything about our reality. For example, sorrow about a past injustice is all consuming. Or, the moment we’re told that the cancer is in remission. The attendant joy permeates from head to toe. After which we exhale as if letting go of the tension of months, and maybe years, of waiting for this day. These are two examples…

Habit = moving average of your behavior

Part of developing a new habit is thinking highly of yourself for awareness of what you want to do different. You can’t change anything if you don’t know you want to change it. And even if you know you want to change something you have to think of it at the right time to act differently. Let’s say that I…

Pedantry isn’t teaching

All too often I find books, courses, etc that go into great detail about a subject. Unfortunately it’s hard to learn when the author hasn’t taken the time to separate the wheat from the chaff. For example, far too many computer books are akin to a car manual. Thorough, but no emphasis on what matters. Teaching isn’t about covering every…

The Business of Dealing Drugs

A drug dealer doesn’t talk about how good cocaine is, they give out free lines. The latter makes a frequent flyer. That’s an analogy I used recently. I share it here only to show you that with a single blurb I can take your attention to drugs. All day long we have things that grab our attention. E-mails, phone calls,…

Curate your own aphorisms

I have quite the page of mindsets now, and it really didn’t take that long to create. When I observe general truths, especially surprising truths, I like to find a pithy way to summarize them. And then I promptly add them to my list. For example, “influence is affect” – if you want to influence someone, yourself included, impact how…

What Do People Assume About You?

Center of the universe bias doesn’t just affect you, it affects the people around you. Think a minute about what that means. What might people assume that you are aware of, that you aren’t? What impact might that have? How can you correct for that? For example, have you ever had someone confess out of the blue? This happens when…

Center of the universe bias

Center of the universe bias is the assumption that other people are always looking over your shoulder. If you see something, or do something, instantly every other human being is aware. And, judging you. For example, when you’re walking and you trip on the sidewalk. After which you scan the ground for the closest, hopefully excessive, crack. You curse at…

People do not see what you see

I was talking to a friend recently about an email she sent. She hadn’t received a response so she concluded that she had offended the recipient. I chuckled and asked her to imagine another explanation. Next up was something along the lines of “they didn’t respond because they’re not allowed to talk to me.” And, “they’re taking time to respond…

Word of mouth is not evidence

Read the following: On a TV show this morning they invited a person onto the show that accused a high ranking government official of saying egregious things to the widow of a recently fallen soldier. How do you feel about this? Do you think this is true? Now, read this: On “The View” this morning they invited a Democratic congresswoman…

Did you want to do what you did?

When is the last time you realized that you didn’t decide to do what you just spent two hours doing? For example, when you want to find some numbers in an old email and instead find yourself half an hour later responding to yet another unrelated email. Or, you open Facebook while riding the subway only to miss your stop…