Being right often conflicts with being successful 

The desire to be “right” is occasionally mutually exclusive with being successful. Which do you prefer?  Either way the desire to be right is innate, subconscious. That means it’s largely out of your control.  You’re not a bad person for wanting to be right. No, you pretty much have no say over the satisfaction you receive. Or the gut wrenching…

Stress is often an illusion 

Over the course of a day you can encounter many small stressful situations. Maybe a difficult problem to solve, a difficult decision to make, some conflict, maybe a paper cut or a stubbed toe.  These stressors tend to linger in your mind. By the end of the day you can feel stressed even if all the sources of stress are…

Staring 

If you’re waiting in line at a fountain while the person in front of you is filling up a gallon jug, all you have to do is make eye contact and they’ll stop.  Even a momentarily glance will come across as a death stare.  Conversely if you don’t mind, avert your eyes or you’ll interrupt them. Influence is affect 

Not even the worst of things last

It doesn’t matter how good things get, or how bad they become. After six months at most, your mind will revert to a mean level of happiness. Lose your job or win the lottery? Same impact on happiness in the long haul.  That means that no matter what happens in life you can take solace in knowing  that the new…

Giving the benefit of the doubt. 

Tonight as I was putting Pax’s collar on for her last walk of the day, I unintentionally pulled a bit hard on her leash as I was standing up.  It jerked her a little and I felt bad. I apologized. She looked at me like I was a bit crazy before proceeding out the door.  She was more interested in…

Communicate to not through 

Very rarely is indiect communication a good thing let alone efficient. Communicate to the people that you are trying to get a message to, not through intermediaries. It takes two times as long to have a one way conversation through a middleman. And if there’s any back and forth it’s exponentially more costly: Conversations happen twice  Feelings aren’t transmitted or…

Productive instead of right 

Try substituting the words productive and counterproductive when you want to say right and wrong. How do you feel different as a result?  Can you have a productive conversation with those that would otherwise be offended by the words right and wrong? 

Feeling good shouldn’t be preferred over feeling bad

Quite often there’s a false dichotomy between feeling pleasure and feeling pain. We seek pleasure and avoid pain. And, feelings quite often are inaccurate summaries of the world around you. They’re often out of touch with reality.  So does it matter if you feel “good” versus “bad?”  Or is it more important to understand that either way you can become…

Speak up for the people that are waiting to talk to you

Tonight while I was working out I was using a machine for a while. I like to do about 12 sets on leg press and lounge between sets.  Anyways, I noticed somebody looked like they were interested in using the machine I was using.  Between sets I noticed that they kept moving a little bit closer and checking to see…