Curate your own aphorisms

I have quite the page of mindsets now, and it really didn’t take that long to create. When I observe general truths, especially surprising truths, I like to find a pithy way to summarize them. And then I promptly add them to my list. For example, “influence is affect” – if you want to influence someone, yourself included, impact how…

What Do People Assume About You?

Center of the universe bias doesn’t just affect you, it affects the people around you. Think a minute about what that means. What might people assume that you are aware of, that you aren’t? What impact might that have? How can you correct for that? For example, have you ever had someone confess out of the blue? This happens when…

Center of the universe bias

Center of the universe bias is the assumption that other people are always looking over your shoulder. If you see something, or do something, instantly every other human being is aware. And, judging you. For example, when you’re walking and you trip on the sidewalk. After which you scan the ground for the closest, hopefully excessive, crack. You curse at…

People do not see what you see

I was talking to a friend recently about an email she sent. She hadn’t received a response so she concluded that she had offended the recipient. I chuckled and asked her to imagine another explanation. Next up was something along the lines of “they didn’t respond because they’re not allowed to talk to me.” And, “they’re taking time to respond…

Imagination Quiesces Anxiety

Quite often the paltry concern that comes to mind is the exact opposite of what you should be worried about. For example, when you’re selling something and nobody is buying, ostensibly it seems that the price is too high. Otherwise, why aren’t people buying? But, what else might be the reason why your product isn’t selling? How about: – Maybe…

Word of mouth is not evidence

Read the following: On a TV show this morning they invited a person onto the show that accused a high ranking government official of saying egregious things to the widow of a recently fallen soldier. How do you feel about this? Do you think this is true? Now, read this: On “The View” this morning they invited a Democratic congresswoman…

Which side of the circle?

Sometimes changing a single word, in your repertoire, can change your entire perspective.  For example, instead of an emotionally laden word, pick a synonym that’s not.  Like unproductive instead of immoral.  In crafting a substitute, in this case, you have to think about what matters and not just shock appeal. For a while now I’ve taught myself to shudder when…

Environment not willpower

Willpower is one way to change your behavior, to adopt new habits. Changing your environment is far easier. For example, want to eat better? Stock your fridge with reasonable sized portions of the food you like. Don’t count calories and chastize yourself.  Want to get over your fear of heights? Move into a high rise. Want to waste less time…

Feelings summarize what matters

Sometimes if you aren’t sure what’s important, ask yourself what makes you  Fearful Frustrated  Confused  Worried  Sad Tense Anxious  Happy Relieved  Fulfilled Excited  Etc  There’s wisdom in what you’re feeling.  Feelings are materialized intuition.  For example, if you’re excited about upgrading to a faster internet plan. The excitement is likely a summarization of what it will be like to not…

What is acceptable disappointment?

There’s a Chipotle nearby and often I find myself there around closing at 10pm. Quite often they’re out of one or more ingredients. Tonight it was guacamole. I’m used to this by now, which is actually quite sad. I don’t understand why a company can’t lean on the side of caution and waste a tote or two of ingredients. Because…