Control is illusory

Inquiring about how we can control other people is often the wrong pursuit. In searching for ways to manage others, we fail to realize that we don’t really have control over our own actions.

When is the last time you commanded your body to go to sleep? You don’t, you lie down and wait to fall asleep. You don’t flip a switch and start dreaming.

If the hot water heater breaks, you can’t tell your body to get over feeling cold as you stand in a cold shower. You’re not in any danger of freezing to death, but your body will nonetheless shiver.

If we study our own behavior, we’ll realize that we can influence our behavior but we don’t control it. Much like we don’t control our body.

Winding down, shutting off the lights, getting into bed, these are all things we do to influence our body to sleep.

If we don’t really control ourselves, how then are we to control others? We can’t. Instead, we can only hope to influence others.